Day 13 Transcript
NOTE: Today’s transcript is followed by an AI prompt that can be used with your AI provider of choice. Just copy and paste it into ChatGPT or Perplexity and it will help you answer today’s questions for your specific side hustle… the way a human teaching assistant would help you in an Ivy League university. If you’re eager for more on today’s topic, I’ve included a Secret Dessert Course at the very end — a bonus section that isn’t directly covered in today’s video but has a lot of value practical, hands-on value. That dessert also comes with its own AI prompt.
—
Part 1: Embrace the Discomfort
There's a great Woody Allen quote-- which I wish could be attributed to anyone other than a pedo-- but it's a good quote."Eighty percent of success is showing up.” I'd just add that the other 25%: be good at math. I'm kidding obviously. Math is useless. The other 20% of success is continuing to show up.”
Welcome to week 2, Day 13 of starting your side hustle! We’re taking 28 Days-- 28 small steps-- to build a business that’s meaningful, impactful, and profitable.
Today’s focus is networking—the most uncomfortable part of any hustle– an epic chore that no one even remotely likable… likes. Why? Because networking is sales and marketing and relationship management… all focused on the most broken product in the world– you.
The real-life story here is Reid Hoffman, founder of my least favorite social media platform, LinkedIn. I don’t know Reid but he seems like a good guy. Today’s LinkedIn sucks but that’s not on him. He sold it to Microsoft. And it feels like they couldn’t give a bigger shit. Anywho… When Reid started his first company, SocialNet, he realized he didn’t have the network or connections to make it succeed. He learned from that failure and, with LinkedIn, made networking the product itself. Again not a great product but a good founder story. The reason I like Reid– or at least his public persona– is because his journey feels like a validation of always having genuine curiosity, always exercising generosity, always playing the long game. And that’s cool.
Ok– example aside. People who like networking fall into two categories: ambitious narcissists… and people who have learned to tolerate eating shit. My guess is that you’re not the first. So you need to pick up a spoon.
I don’t want to sound like some depression-era Dad but… in life, you don’t get paid for the easy stuff. Networking feels awkward and yucky because it is awkward and yucky; it is uncomfortable— but muscling through discomfort is the universal price of admission for success. If you’re into behavioral psychology or behavioral economics, you know that we’re all neurologically wired to avoid social risk, which partly explains why networking feels unnatural for most people—even “seasoned sales professionals”– who learned a long time ago that sales is just relationship management… it’s trust building… It's networking. Toughest job in the world!
That’s why this topic is so important. Because that thing we all hate– networking… is actually sales… it’s relationship management, risk management, trust building… which means your hustle fails unless you pick up a spoon.
The billion-dollar question is NOT how do I make networking less awkward, less distasteful, less painful; it’s how do I do it despite how it makes me feel? How do I muscle past my gag reflex? Because networking is useful as hell… for everything… for refining your strategy, for thinking outside your own box, for making a love connection with someone else’s hustle.
I probably won’t publish this because I don’t know how to be useful to you on this one. I know what I do– I pick up a spoon. I keep telling myself: you never get paid for the easy stuff. You never get paid for doing what comes naturally—you only get paid for muscling through what feels unnatural– the hard stuff– until it becomes second nature. And don’t count on that either because it might never become second nature.
Let’s start this section over.
Part 2: Unlock Networking Value
Take 2. Welcome to week 2, Day 13 of starting your side hustle! We’re taking 28 Days-- 28 small steps-- to build a business that’s meaningful, impactful, and profitable.
Ok. Jumping to our regular format. We’re talking about networking. Not to land some future day job but to build strategic relationships. Today’s two questions are–
What’s your unique value proposition as a networker?
What’s your framework for initiating and maintaining connections?
That first question is important because networking isn’t about meeting people—it’s about showing them why connecting with you is worth their time. And more often than not, you are not worth their time. I know– It’s hard to hear. And it sounds like I’m being mean. Maybe I am but my bar is very high when it comes to adding value to other people’s lives. It forces me (and now hopefully you) to think seriously about what you bring to the table. Because like anything hard… networking requires preparation. If you’re going to travel out of your comfort zone, you’re going to need to pack. Deliberately, thoughtfully. And what no one tells you: you’ll get the packing part wrong many many times. But that’s still better than not packing. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly.
I know you know this. Meaningful relationships aren’t built on autopilot, on comfort—they’re built on effort and persistence in the face of discomfort. Keep telling yourself: You don’t get paid for avoiding discomfort; you get paid for leaning into it; not once but over and over again until it pays off in opportunities that wouldn’t otherwise exist.
How you feel about networking is a good predictor for whether or not your hustle will succeed; whether or not you’ll have a second hustle or a third. Because how you feel about networking is probably how you feel about business development; how you feel about constantly engaging clients to gather client voice; how you feel about your personal relationship to discomfort.
And this is where I tell you about my patented framework for making networking easy. I wish! If anyone tells you there’s a book or a seminar with that information in it, run the other way… they’re selling you something. There is an answer for you but only you can create a YOU-specific repeatable process for reaching out, following up, and staying in touch with a growing number of people without overwhelming yourself. And before you flip out your phone… you can’t get that answer from Google or AI because they’re trained on content from well-intentioned salespeople who don’t understand cognitive development.
So… there’s no easy answer on this one… no fast answer. Do today’s exercise for yourself– answer the two questions– without looking for other people’s answers. I’ll give you the tiniest hint– it’ll involve understanding how you define meaningful relationships… how you define mutual value… mutuality…. reciprocity.
And it’s not beyond you. Because here’s the thing: every awkward conversation, every forced follow-up email, every moment of hesitation—it all adds up to opportunities for your side hustle that simply don’t come from staying comfortable. I’ll say it again: you never get paid for doing what feels easy—you get paid for doing what feels hard and keeps feeling hard until it works
You really just need to come to terms with the idea that networking is worth the pain. And muscle through it! It’s an important part of how you hustle smarter.
Prompt #1 - Build Real Connections, Not Just Contacts
○
Prompt #1 - Build Real Connections, Not Just Contacts ○
Today, you’ll learn how to network in a way that actually feels authentic and valuable-even if you hate “networking.” You’ll be guided by the writings and frameworks of Ivy League faculty whose research is foundational in relationship-building, reciprocity, and professional influence:
- **Professor Adam Grant, The Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania:** Authority on authentic networking and the power of giving.
- **Professor Tsedal Neeley, Harvard Business School:** Expert in remote collaboration, trust-building, and cross-cultural networking.
- **Professor Jeffrey Pfeffer, Stanford GSB (visiting at Yale):** Specialist in power dynamics and influence in professional relationships.
**What Today’s Coaching Will Help You With:**
You’ll identify the relationships that matter most for your hustle, learn how to reach out without feeling awkward, and practice the art of giving before asking-so you can turn quick chats into real opportunities.
---
### Step 1: Reflection Questions
Please answer these questions in a few sentences each:
1. **Who are three people (or types of people) you’d love to connect with to help grow your hustle?**
- Think about potential collaborators, mentors, customers, or supporters.
2. **What’s one thing you could offer or share with them-before asking for anything in return?**
- This could be a resource, an introduction, feedback, or even just a genuine compliment.
3. **What’s your biggest fear or hesitation about reaching out to new people?**
- Be honest-acknowledging it is the first step to moving past it.
---
### Step 2: MBA Skill – The Reciprocity Principle
Today’s MBA lesson is the Reciprocity Principle:
> The best networkers give first-offering value, support, or insight before ever making an ask.
- Before you reach out, write down what you can give (not just what you want).
- When you do connect, lead with curiosity and generosity. Ask about their work, listen for what matters to them, and look for ways to help-even if it’s just sharing a resource or cheering them on.
- Remember: Real relationships are built on shared wins, not just transactions.
---
### Step 3: Coaching & Action Plan
After you reply, I will use the writings of Professors Grant, Neeley, and Pfeffer to:
- Help you craft a non-awkward, authentic outreach message or email.
- Guide you in finding common ground and shared interests to spark real conversation.
- Suggest ways to follow up and keep the relationship warm-without being pushy or transactional.
- Offer strategies for building your network over time, even if you’re an introvert or just starting out.
---
**How to use this prompt:**
- Respond with your answers to the reflection questions and your draft outreach idea or message.
- I’ll help you refine your networking approach, overcome hesitations, and suggest next steps for building meaningful connections.
- Remember: The goal isn’t to collect business cards-it’s to build a circle of people who want to see you win, and who you support in return.
---
Ready? Share your answers and draft outreach below. Let’s hustle smarter, one lunch break at a time!
Secret Dessert Course
Ever leave a networking event or finish a great intro call, only to freeze up when it’s time to follow up?
Yeah. Me too.
Use the AI prompt below to take all the pressure and guesswork out of staying in touch.
So you never let another promising connection go cold.
Just copy and paste this prompt into your favorite AI assistant to enjoy Day 13’s dessert course.
Prompt #2 - Master the Art of the Follow-Up
○
Prompt #2 - Master the Art of the Follow-Up ○
Today’s focus: turning quick chats and intro calls into real relationships-without the awkwardness, guesswork, or radio silence. This “Follow-Up Formula Cheat Sheet” is your MBA-level toolkit for professional, thoughtful, and effective follow-ups. You’ll be coached by Ivy League experts in networking, business communication, and relationship-building:
- **Professor Adam Grant, The Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania:** Authority on reciprocity, networking, and authentic connection.
- **Professor Tsedal Neeley, Harvard Business School:** Expert in remote collaboration and building trust across distance and cultures.
- **Professor Jeffrey Pfeffer, Stanford GSB (visiting at Yale):** Specialist in power dynamics and influence in professional relationships.
**What Today’s Coaching Will Help You With:**
You’ll get a proven, copy-and-paste follow-up template, timing tips, and guidance for keeping the conversation going-so you stand out as thoughtful, professional, and easy to work with. No more freezing up after a great event or call.
---
### Step 1: Tell Us About Your Connection
Please answer:
1. Who did you meet (name, role, and context: event, intro call, etc.)?
2. What did you talk about or connect over?
3. What’s your goal for following up (keep in touch, collaborate, ask for advice, etc.)?
4. (Optional) Any shared interests, funny moments, or topics you want to reference?
---
### Step 2: Follow-Up Formula & Coaching
After you reply, I will use the writings of your Ivy League coaching panel to:
- Provide a personalized, non-awkward follow-up email/message template (Grant).
- Recommend the best timing for your follow-up (Neeley).
- Offer tips for keeping the conversation going and deepening the relationship (Pfeffer).
- Suggest ways to add value in your follow-up (share a resource, make an intro, etc.).
- Help you avoid sounding desperate or robotic, and stand out as a true professional.
---
**How to use this prompt:**
- Respond with your connection details above.
- Your coaching panel will return a step-by-step, copy-and-paste follow-up formula tailored to your situation.
- You’ll leave with a clear, actionable plan to turn quick chats into real relationships and more opportunities.