Dance with Your Fears
This downturn is going to leave a lot of talented people without a job. Temporarily. Even though it’ll feel like it’s forever.
And Google doesn’t help with that kind of anxiety. Every search result gives the same advice: beef up your resume, clean up your social media presence, find a coach, work on your personal brand, network, network, network, research the companies with which you’re interviewing, and don’t forget to write thank you notes.
Ok. Mildly useful, I guess.
If you’re 12.
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The only steer you really need— 4 words:
Dance. With. Your. Fears.
And because the last dance you learned was the cabbage patch— don’t forget to stretch.
How?
With daily exercise.
Two kinds. Physical— i.e., take long walks. And metaphysical— as in patience (presence), faith (optimism), and humility (perspective).
Oh… and it helps to be 1) deliberately distracted 2) with purposeful service 3) that does values-aligned good in the world 4) while feeding your curiosity.
[That was oddly specific.]
Let’s break it all down.
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First, the easy one.
I don’t know a single successful person that doesn’t exercise regularly. All the spiritual stuff that follows builds on a combination of breathing and sweating.
Welcome to Buddhism for Dummies.
If you can’t get past this first hump, give up.
It’s that important.
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Next, patience…
because all the fine folks hiring are also juggling that ambition with their day jobs– working diligently to put out their more-urgent, day-to-day, non-hiring-related fires. It’s important to understand that– to accept that… spiritually– to remind yourself daily, through mindful practice that there is a mismatch in your timelines and priorities.
Also, when I was a wee lad, I used to think of hiring as a simple, practical exercise; a task on a to-do list that lets you deliver on your commitments; a means to an end. I’ve long since learned (and relearned) that hiring is actually a deeply political act and a bureaucratic pain in the ass.
And neither of those aspects can be rushed.
So patience should inform your dance’s rhythm.
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Faith…
because… I’m corny? I can’t explain this part well. I just know– and have always known– that tomorrow will be better.
If you’re religious, that sentiment might make sense. But I’m not particularly religious. So for me, it’s probably just that I have a particular variant (or alleles) of the OXTR gene– the one that’s been linked to stress-reduction traits. It also codes for the receptor for oxytocin, the hormone that boosts positive emotion and social bonding.
Thank God, right?
By the way, if you don’t have the gene, find a partner who does.
Even if you do have the gene, find a partner who does. It makes for better living… and arguably, better dancing.
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Humility…
because every time I even begin to think I’m the sh!t, the universe introduces me to someone infinitely smarter, infinitely nicer, and harder working… damn them!
The other role humility plays is to curb the tendency to think about your career progression as being necessarily linear. Your next gig doesn’t have to be a step up or even a step sideways.
It can be driven by what you’ll get to learn or the people with whom you’ll get to work. Or if you’re lucky, a move towards purpose.
The point here is:
It’s not just that you don’t know. It’s that your dance would be joyless if you did.
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And finally…
The advice that’s most tragically absent from Google results. You’re going to have some time on your hands between now and when you land that next gig. And while you might want to make time for your family, they’re already sick of you.
So… make time for your community.
Servant leadership doesn’t stop at the office. Figure out who you want to serve. And get busy doing something meaningful.
I speak from experience. I have a lot of time on my hands right now. And I’m splitting my screen-time between writing in my journal (feeding my soul) and researching healthcare tech (feeding my curiosity).
I’m also using my IRL time volunteering my tech skills at a not-for-profit healthcare provider. They seem to need a lot of nerd-lovin’. And by “they” I mean literally every non-profit in the world. [Hint hint.]
Just make sure their mission aligns with your values.
There’s a non-profit out there focused on what you care about. I promise.
And know that working on something meaningful is so incredibly absorbing that you’ll wonder where all your wallow-time went.
This Ain’t the End
Look, I wish I could close this piece with something that would give you more faith in you– in your abilities, in your aspirations. Or somehow give you an understanding of how much the world values what you bring to the game.
I can’t.
But someone who loves you can.
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I do know– from personal experience– that what’s ahead will feel scary. And I know that in the end, you never get used to the fear.
But I also know there’s beauty in the music.
And moments of real joy when you lose yourself in the dance.
Postscript:
If you’re having a tough time hearing the music, DM me. I have an ear for it. Plus, my dancing makes everyone else’s look smoov.
LinkedIn Tease:
There's been a lot of sad news lately about tech companies cutting staff.
Cameo 25% - Chime 12% - Coinbase 18% - Dapper Labs 20% - Docusign 9% - GoFundMe 12% - Intel 20% - Lyft 13% - Meta 13% - Netflix 3% - OpenDoor 18% - Patreon 17% - Redfin 13% - Robinhood 31% - Shopify 10% - Snapchat 20% - SoundCloud 20% - Stripe 14% - Twilio 11% - Twitter 50%
That's a lot of real people... with real talent... and real anxiety... some of whom might be struggling to hear the music that I mention in the piece: that tune without the words-- to which we all need to dance.
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If you don’t have time to read the article, here’s a sublime alternative– the Emily Dickinson poem that I just referenced:
“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -
And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -
And sore must be the storm -
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm -
I’ve heard it in the chillest land -
And on the strangest Sea -
Yet - never - in Extremity,
It asked a crumb - of me.