The Unfunny Valley (Father's Day Post)

Want to make someone you’re texting laugh? “Love” your own texts. You know, the red heart icon next to the thumbs-up… meant to be used on other people’s texts.

Loving your own texts is a feature that no one uses (because it shouldn’t exist) (except that it does) and it’s a comedic goldmine.

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If you’re suggesting a place to eat in a group chat, propose someplace stupid, wait until you see someone else typing and (bam!) love your own suggestion.

[Ding!] [Initial confusion.]

Wait for the inevitable “did… you… just love your own…?”

Deny it vigorously. And love each denial.

Claim it must be an iOS bug. And love that!

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Oh, and it works even better one-on-one. The more negative your texts the funnier.

“Great pic! Did you brush your hair with your left hand?”

[Ding!] [Loved!]

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If you ever use an expletive… Love! It!

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To level up, keep doing it with the same person. It’ll be funny the first few times. Then completely unfunny for the next several dozen times. But persist(!) because you’ll hit “the unfunny threshold” (different for each joke and each recipient) and then it’ll be reborn as epic-level funny.

If you don’t believe me or you’re scared, try it out on your Mom first and count the number of texts before she starts to do it.

She won’t commit to it like you will. She won’t make the long, lonely trip through the desert of unfunny.

But you know who will?

#Dad.

[Ding!] [Ding!] [Ding!]

#HappyFathersDay

[Ding.]